Golden Memories From Her Treasure Chest

As of late October of 2009, he eats halal meat only.

K1: Why be a halalatarian? I mean it makes no sense. You drink - even if occasionally -, have a girl-friend, don't pray....i could keep going, but you get the point..

K2: Well lets say i'm a thief, but just because i steal from people doesn't mean i should kill them too!

K1: You have it the other way round my friend. If you're going to use that analogy then say:

"Just because i'm a murderer doesn't mean i should steal also".

-Clarity - though not always flattering - is sincerely appreciated my friend-

An Elite Plague

Many Socialites, no socialights.

"Kuk skazet..?": Writing In a Rush-ian

Lesson 1: How to Destroy the Other's Self-Esteem

La-g'ets. Predooruk/doora. Lasharik/lakhushka. Sveen(ya). Paraseonuk. Tormuz. Chaika. Zutt-kanees. Peenaat tvaayu g'opu. Pash-la-vaughn. Shooka. Sooca. g'opa. Popa. Kazyole/Kazaa. KuBBila. Ka-bill. Aabizyana. Aabizyanki. idiyote(ka). Tupoy (ya). Nye-na-v-G'oo tebya. (Pig) Kabaan/Kabaanchik/Kharyoosha. Khryu Khryu. Lo-shett (Fatty)

Lesson 2: Russian's not good for much else:D

Aatleechna. Harashow. Kuk di la? Kuk uchobo? Kuk skazet.

Prayaykhali/Karochay. Patamooshta..... Malinkee/Malinkaya. idyot (he's coming). Kanyayshna. Iz-v-nee. gdey...? Ti seriosna? shoochoo (joking?). Da-ka-g'e (Prove it). O-bow-g'e.

Oochitil (oochitil-neetza). Lew-blue tebya. Ya Haachu paat-sa-la-vutt tebya. Mi nya za-voot....

Chaw-no-vova? --- nee-vo

Aa ti?

ya go-la-din. (Da-ay) mnye yidi.

Smesh-no (funny). Kote (meow). Bol (emphasis on l) - na (that hurt). Aasta-rog'na (Be careful). Ya G'e voo Canadia.

Ya, ti, tvoy, tvaaya, ana, on

Kuk tvayaa sveenya

Kuk tvoy poroseonuk

Peenaat tvoyu g'opu

Kakoy paalit ti vi deesh? (know which finger this is?)

Maya Daragaya oochitilneetza

Moy daragoy oochitil

Pone-yaal (pone-yala)

See-chaaz (al-hayn). Ya zapootaliss (I'm confused - i bet so are you:). Ti to'ga (you too).

Spaseebo:)

Nye-zishta:):)

Never a Dull Moment With ESL Students - King Omaru & the Otsuma Girls

"You are fetus!!!"

'18-going-on-35' year old Hitomi's reaction after wishing me a birthday and learning I've only just turned 23

Rand-om-ar: Never a Dull Moment With ESL Students

"Oil, Coil, and urine.."

Baglan the executioner trying to explain to me that the Kazakhstani economy depends on oil, metal, and uranium

Guns, Germs, & Steel: For the Next Time Somebody Calls You a Neanderthal

"Despite being depicted in innumerable cartoons as apelike brutes living in caves, Neanderthals had brains slightly larger than our own. They were also the first humans to leave behind strong evidence of burying their dead and taking care of their sick".

Page 38

My-croscope: You Put The 'Heal' Back In Health

No, i can't provide you evidence to corroborate,

But, no that doesn't mean i exaggerate

when i write i'm the richest man in the world

Yes there isn't a device that can measure

Yes its invaluable this treasure

And yes you're looking at the richest man in the world

This wealth i did not earn it

I hope i do not spurn it

The wealth that makes me the richest man in the world

I pray i do not take my wealth for granted,

My home does not become a house haunted,

when i am no longer the richest man in the world

For one does not need much wisdom

to know that day will inevitably come

when i'm no longer the richest man in the world

Reduced to a pauper the crown prince,

thinking of that fateful day since,

I was no longer the richest man in the world

So i pray for this blessed wealth,

and i pray for your precious health,

And so Mercifully i remain the richest man in the world.

"rubbir hum huma kama rubbiyani saghira"

Ameen.

Mori Araj Suno

"You don't have to recover your past to break free".

"Kitni Suddiyaan beet gayeen hayn

ab ja kar yay bhaid khula hay

jiss ko tum nay arz guzaari

jo thaa haath pakarnay waala

jiss jaag laagi nao tumhari

jiss say dukh ka daaru maanga

toray mandir mein jo nahin aaya

woh tau tum hi thay

woh tau tum hi thay".

Mycroscope: For the Next Time You Feel Empty Inside or Numb

BBC Planet 'Earth Great Plains' narrator's opening line:

"vast open plains, immense open spaces, eerie silence, but any feeling of emptiness is an illusion".

The universe is more manifest in us than we are in it.

Mastercard: Maasi ki Du'a ---- Priceless

"Yay yaad rakho keh lahore mein tumhari aik khala hein jo roz tumhaaray liye du'a karti hayn..."

A Facebook Status That Reminded Me of You

"SEPTEMBER IS CANCER MONTH: In memory of every cancer patient, family member, and friend who has lost their battle with cancer, and in honor of those who continue to conquer it! Put this up for 1 hour if you love someone who has or had cancer".

I hope they welcomed you with arms wide open.

Origins

Clenched jaws.

solemn, fixed stare.

try to move on as we might,

but tonight we're running in reverse gear.

tonight we're running in reverse gear.

One last effort to understand what she meant,

as she sits adjacent

to you, the raw wounds of the victim

The situation looks quite grim

but that light in your heart,

that one.

the one that refuses to dim.

30 years and your patience isn't running thin

30 years and your patience isn't running thin

not tonight at least

tonight you've tamed the ghosts and the beasts

the ghosts and the beasts (of) past

tonight they've been banished to their cages.

a brief victory

a relief, even if temporary,

desperately needed.

My beloved, i am no sooth sayer

God answer your prayer

cover you in layer upon layer

of His Mercy and Care

His Mercy and care

Prayer, Mercy, and care.

ameen

Rand-om-ar

Ping-pong eyes.

indecision.

Brain firewalled

confusion.

She asks, "how do we break free?"

How do we recover lost youth from under the debris?

Tell me how we can break free?

Tell me.

My-croscope

Misery might love company, but pain only needs an audience.

- The Way of the Phoenix -

It searches. Endlessly. In perennial streams. And when it cannot find, it creates.

Illusions. Placebos.

There is no rage in its courage. Even in their dying hours the embers are stoked not by anger, but by passion. It is with this courage with which it will submit; embrace the stem of reality; a thousand poisonous thorns in the shadow of a rose. And thousand poisonous thorns are what is needed to create pores in a body closed off - so it can pour out the pain and then breathe again.

There is no consolation here. Prepare your warmest condolences for the fallen. All these streams meet in an ocean of dismay & disappointment. How deep this ocean runs.

The salt water has put out the fire. Still hope floats. And so we wait. We wait for that day when a fateful breeze will blow, the embers will once again be incensed, and the ashes will once more set ablaze.

- Until from the ashes we are raised -

The Little that Means A Lot

I received flowers today. The colors brought a smile to my face, but after that brief moment of reprieve i wanted to throw them away. "They're going to die in a few days anyway" i thought to myself. What is our obsession with delaying death and parting ways, even if it be the death of something so beautiful? How hard we try to cling to air....

You can cut the hands of the clock, but time will continue running; your heart will keep ticking. No matter how hard you try to stay still, time will drag you with it. And so you are forced to ride the ebb and flow of the em-ocean.

I think this as i walk toward the door and just as i am about to discard them, her hands gently stop mine.

She holds her eyes with mine in a way that only eyes pregnant with kindness can. She says:

"Enjoy them. Love them. I know. I know that despite the necessary time, care, and attention, they may never fully bloom. And yes, the only outcome certain is that they will one day - soon - wilt. But if by His/Her leave they do bloom, then even after they have wilted; even after the red and green is consumed by black, they will leave behind a fragrance for tomorrow. And you know what the worth of tomorrow ultimately becomes don't you? The worth of every tomorrow is nothing if not the fragrance of yesterday".

Its all about the fragrance.

S/H/E-go

"Your ego's writing out cheques your body can't cash".

Rickshaw Philoso-phree: My Favorite Way to Live

"Love for sale: 100% discount".

Echoes: Last Words

"buss itna hi kahoon ga: seedhay raastay par rehna".

- 22nd August 2006 -

Rand-om-ar: Abid at a Loss for Words

Your face is ---------- very mashAllah.

Going to LA

Only 4 letters short. Can't wait till when it's LA-hore i'm going to - InshAllah

Dream Theater: "I'll Miss You When I Wake Up".

Self-preservation.

It is strange.

When the heart is wounded deeply, the mind takes over. It is forced to muffle and strangle thoughts. It buries memories alive. Burying the living dead isn't difficult though. Its keeping them buried that is the constant struggle. Its a tough fight during the day - everyday -, but at night, at night the mind must rest and that is when they all escape. Or at least they try to.

Lately however, a tired mind has let thoughts wander and the memories free. And i must tell you the "days are as dark as the nights are long", but sleep is beautiful. In slumber, the dream theater produces motion pictures better than the best cinema has to offer - short films though they are. Echoes, shadows, and grey are replaced with contentment, shade, and color and before my eyes slowly open to heaviness of the former, my final feeling is:

"i'll miss you when i wake up".

*warning: author is trained professional. Do not try this at home

Rand-om-ar: Wancouver and Vater

Random South Asian man: i want a rooter (router) please.

Saleswoman: what? Rooster?

Random South Asian man: no! roooter!! you know - for compooter...

Zubermann

Two Babylonians exiting wonderland on Vancouver public transit

Z: yaar is summer do cheezain karni hain!

O: kya?

Z: sky diving aur scuba diving. upper aur neechay. Beech may bohat time guzaar liya hay

Favorite Line From Alice in Wonderland

"I'll miss you when i wake up".

I don't know why, but its walking around in circles in my head.

Du'a; The Best Dawa

My Lord, cover my eyes with Mercy so that i see not the 'lone' in lonely, but the 'one'.

Ameen

My-croscope

To live is to love

To love is to give

To live is to give

iss hi liye shukriya ka behtareen jawab meherbani hay

Make My Heart Home

Love, these seeds You planted

Sprouted Love forgetful souls took for granted

Now a heart wanders your earth disenchanted

On these stretches of land haunted

Love, these seeds your Hands plant

Even the un-worded prayer you grant

Tonight uncontrollably i chant

I want to stop, but i can't

I want to stop, but i can't

All because of what Loving Hands plant

Never A Dull Moment With ESL Students: Farewell

"I want to go say hello, see you".

Never A Dull Moment With ESL Students: Hit-me.

"SOOO OUCHHHH!!!".

Munn-dane

Dedicated to Koo, Nabila, Marnel, Ghandi, Iqbal, Abu, and myself.

"How vain is it to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live".

Henry David Thoreau

Zubermann

"...no bubblegum, but a little candy never hurt anyone".

haha.

*reference "Munn-dane: Marriage and Bubblegum Relationships".

Favorite Line From The End Half of Umrao Jaan

Never - and i stress on the never - did i think i'd like old Bolly wood movies let alone fall in love with the combination of large, dark rooms with an old bolly wood movie playing. Urdu has a lot to do with it i should add.

tujh ko rusawaa naa kiyaa, khud bhee pashemaan na Huye

Ishq kee rasm ko, is tarah nibhaayaa hum ne

- To be completed -

Ami & Mother Teresa: Proof That Mothers Know Best

I pray that i can say i lived my life this way:

"Doosra jo bhi karay, apna dil saaf rakho"

Ami Zaman a.k.a baybay a.k.a mothery

"People are often unreasonable and self centered: forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives: be kind anyways. If you're successful, you'll win some false friends and some true enemies: succeed anyway. If you're honest and frank, people may cheat you: but be honest anyway. What you spend years building, someone can destroy overnight: build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous: be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow: do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough: give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, its between you and God, it was never between you and them anyway . . ."

Mother Teresa

Touche Mr. Dickens

“But you were always a good man of business, Jacob,” faltered scrooge, who now began to apply this to himself.

“Business!” cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again. “Mankind was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence were all my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!”

(From one of Charles Dickens' books)

One of My Favorite Lyrics

"Those who forget will be destined to remember".

Nothing Man -Pearl Jam

My-croscope: Wonder Years

Love kills logic

My-croscope: Wonder Years

Takes the fragments of a broken boy to piece together a man.

Munn-Dane: Marriage & BubbleGum Relationships

From the other side of the phone, he's yelling over the background noise advising me to get married. It's not a bad idea at all is my first thought and this comes as quite a shock even to me!

I'm ready to recite the 'Qabool-hai' formula, but for now it's back to waiting - waiting for the next encounter with the woman of my dreams even though right now the woman of my dreams can sadly only be found...... in my dreams. I've recognized her twice, disguised as reality, but they say the third time's the charm. And so the next time, i'm not letting her escape insh'Allah. For now i'll continue waiting and in the meantime, no more bubblegum relationships.

First Conversation With A Cousin In 3 Years: Go Figure:S

Kanwal: helllo? you there?

Omar: heyhey

Kanwal ok..just a short question..

i'm watch 3 idiots

Omar: yea

Kanwal: watching*

Omar: and?

Kanwal: what's mootar? they're translatung iut as pee/piss

is that correct? i thougt it was cum. (sorry for the weirdness of the question). there's no other desi person online

Omar: lol yes

mootar is pee

Kanwal: ohhh i really thought it was cum. ohhh i remember that's mtth right?

mutth

Omar: hahaha. muthh is sperm:)

it comes from muthi (no pun intended) which is your 'grab' i suppose..

Kanwal: as in fist?

Omar: yea, fist

Kanwal: i seee

Omar: coz guys use their 'muthi' to jack off so it's called 'muth'

Kanwal: acha thanks. back to movie now

later

Omar:no worries. take care, much love.

Kanwal: you tooo..ciao ciao

In Awe of You

I see you every day. Every day without exception. Yet i do not recognize you. That is why today was special. Today, i saw your reflection and it bewildered a troubled mind. Every thought, insecurity, concern, fear - all rendered static. Your Beauty silenced me and in silence i recognized you.

O You Who is a dream disguised as reality.

I recognized you today.

You Who's veil is Light

I recognized you today

Won't you please make my eyes Your Home?

Home is Bleeding.

and i don't know what we can do.

Rest In Peace inshAllah the martyrs will, but how do we live in peace?

Euphoria

Finally!!!!

Like a song who's name i could not remember, the words to which i could not recall, and the melody of which i could not sing for others to identify! 3 years its been been stuck in my head - constantly on replay - 3 years!

Today i have rediscovered it:

Calvin Klein: Euphoria

-Let the sweet breeze blow-

Vintage Z.

Me: Time kya ho gaya hay?

Z: Time to get a watch brother!

Nasha

Did you know?

Air that has touched your skin is intoxicating.

Twinklings From The Stars

"woh tum na thay ik khayaal tha

meri soch ka hi kamaal tha

woh muhobatain woh chahatain

meri uljhano ka hi jaal tha

meray dil may theen jo ronaqain

wo tera hi husn-o-jamal tha

jawaab jis ka mila nahin

woh aisa hi ik sawaal tha

woh aaj mila tau yun laga

yehi hay jis ka intezaar tha

usay yaad kaisae na karay koiee

usay bhoolna bhi mahaal tha!

ab us ki kya may misaal duun

woh tau apni misaal aap tha"

Song Draft: Khamoshi

kehna jo tha woh keh na saka

khamoshi mein munn ghut-ta raha

karnay ko tau hazaaron baatein theen

laakhon khaamoshian kuon chubti raheen

zameen nay aisa kya keh diya

jo chaand nay moo phair liya?

aisa bhee kya hum nay kar dia

jo tu hum se naaraaz raha?

koiee ghalati huee tau bata

yay kiss khata ki hay saza?

laakhon taaray falak par magar

hum ko tau hay buss aik ki khabar

laakhon taaray falak par magar

hum ko tau hay buss aik ki khabar

-fades-

hum ko tau hay buss aik ki khabar

hum ko tau hay buss aik ki khabar

Leaving Home

Her mother would ask her: Are you homesick? It was always a no.

Always.

Why?

Because She'd found warmth in her.

Because she'd found a sanctuary in her.

Her laughter is home.

Her laughter was home

But like her tears now

she too is homeless.

She too is homeless.

Du'a: Maa Aur Maasoom

Maa ki du'a jannat ki hawa

aur maasoom ki bad du'a?

jahannam ki saza

Fool and 3das

I wash my dishes with cold water now.

'Adas turned out to be the fool.

'Adas turned out to be the fool.

The kind of fool that is hard to digest.

Revelation: The World of Dreams

I am not lost. I'm displaced.

Space Ship: The World of Dreams

I can't call her the past because she is ever-present. She is distant, but always within sight. Today a cool breeze breathed some of her perfume and - for a while - the distance evaporated. The addictive fragrance gently stroked a sleeping dream out of hibernation. This particularly beautiful dream had been resting on the other side of the barzakh in the vast ocean of my memory; the barzakh which did not allow the sweet and salt water to mix - that barzakh.

This dream was beautiful because she was his first. Before anything else, he had always wanted to be an astronaut. Pakistan didn't have a space program though and he didn't have a spaceship. His instincts would whisper to him and tell him the stars were a map. A map to what or where he didn't know. But that's why he needed his spaceship and one day, just like that, he found one.

A journey into the heavens.

Does a journey to the heavens have to be a fight against gravity?

A dream unable to escape the pull of reality.

The return. A vessel catches fire as it re-enters the realm it tried to escape.

A crash landing in sweet water.

A tidal wave of sweet water

A reminder:

Reality, too, is but a forgotten dream.

Reality, too, is but the forgotten dream.

Song draft

tere liye

aaj woh gaata huun

jo apne liye

dil se chahta huun

yay maira geet jo hay

mairi dua hay

teri jeet mein bhee

meri raza hay

maira geet jo hay

ik faryaad hay

naghma-e-bulbul bhee

tairi hi yaad hay

maira yaar jo hay

maira pyaar jo hay

hurr gullistan ki

bahaar wo hay

bekaar hay

sub bekaar hay

siwa woh

jo pyaar se hai

bekaar hai

bekaar hai

siwa woh

jo taire naam se hay

The Desert: The World of Dreams

I dream i am in the desert. Thirsty.

I am here in search of an oasis. I remember there being one. Could it be a mirage that a desperate heart placed in the mind's memory? But, I do remember life - that too in full bloom. Yes, in full bloom - even in the desert. Tired eyes continue searching. Futile. Maybe it is buried in the sand now or maybe it dried up. I do not know. Maybe...

I continue searching.

I look up to the desert sun; i plead with him, but his anger will not simmer today. He owns the lonely blue sky. I turn my back on him, but the scathing heat reminds me he is still there. I close my eyes, but the light pierces even the darkness behind closed lids. The desert sun - all-encompassing. Inescapable. Like all other things, i'm beginning to think hope too dies. Does it? Can it? I do not know. Maybe...

The thirst is getting unbearable. The pain in my stomach is excruciating. My thought is singular. Constant. Paralyzed. I need to quench my thirst. I think of the Oasis. I can hear children playing. I see camels. Their lazy yet majestic walk, soft smile, big eyes and long beautiful lashes. And just then I see Laila - the daughter of the night - smile and in that instant, even the mighty sun is powerless. I am enveloped in her beauty as land is in the darkness of night. The heat gives way to a coolness on my eye lids. I am certain now. There used to be an oasis here. Or is a desperate heart playing yet another trick to nurse the fears of a helpless mind? i do not know. Maybe...

A glimpse of her and i feel as if a huge rock has been removed from my heart. A rock which had been supressing a spring. Water gushes forth. Life surges through my body. I raise my arms victoriously. I laugh at the sun and begin to run. I run. I run hard. But, The harder i run, the farther the beautiful vision appears to be. I keep trying, but for every step i take towards her, she runs a mile away from me. The distance cannot be retraced. I look at the sun. I cry. What a cruel joke.

A cruel joke.

Like the desert sun, the beautiful image is inescapable. I cannot turn my back on it. It has made a home in tired eyes. I can't escape it so i resign to simply stare at it; to admire her beauty until my eyes finally give way to a deeper darkness. Even the blazing desert sun cannot keep out the darkness of death - the final dusk. A dejected heart stops comforting a bewildered mind. Hope resigns. She breathes her last. Dying legs want to chase still, but are forced to halt. A defeated mind submits. Is this a dream? When will i wake? Will i wake? Does light pierce the dark night of death? Will my soul see another dawn? I do not know.

Maybe...

Vintage Z.

"Shit yaar!! mai nay aaj brush nahin kiya!"

Zubermann after licking his teeth at 9:41 pm

Zubermann

"I read your text slowing me down, and then a bird shat RIGHT in front of me....thank God for your text:P"

10/02/10

Zubermann

Zubermann singing in the bathroom

"Aaaye ho mairay dil mein tum potty bun kay

Aaaye ho mairay dil mein tum - nahin nahin nahin

Aaaye ho tum mairi zindagi mein potty bun kay

Aaaye ho tum mairi zindagi mein potty bun kay

Ab flush na ho jaaannaa!!!!!!!"

Go figure..

(Draft) Munn-dane: The Balanced Equation of Chee

I ask the little Asian boy his name. "Chee" he blankly responds.

I feel a smile take over my face. Chee is what i call Tariq Chachoo and anything that reminds me of people that are home make my heart lighter.

So tonight i'm thinking of Chee on the 99 and what comes to mind is his advice.

The wise Chee explains:

Everyone has their own equation for Life. The variables are the same and so what defines an equation is the importance accorded to each variable. In your case love is the dominant variable in most of your relationships. Keep that in mind. If love isn't the dominant variable for him in this particular relationship then restructure your equation accordingly.

Spoken like a true Physics major. An 18 year old didn't need eloquence. Just effective advice.

Royal BC Museum, Victoria - Incomplete Draft

I never understood why people went to look at historical monuments or art and architecture. Usually, this lack of appreciation would surface when ami would drag us to see "masterpieces" on family trips. "Ami aap bhee naa..!!" i'd think to myself.

Khair. At the beginning of last term i found myself praying for God to show me the Reality that the colors He/She made cloaked. Hands raised, and with Zubair at my side, We'd pray: "Ay Allah Mian, humein cheezon ki haqeeqat ki pehchaan dila".

Shaayad iss liye hi i've started looking at everything differently. My indifference to art is still there, but something in my perspective has shifted. I try constantly to search for a bigger picture and if ever there were one, i found a huge chunk of it at the Royal BC museum in Victoria. Such beautiful Native art, but it didn't really move me. What stirred my thoughts more was the capacity of human beings to destroy. How methodically the colonials had destroyed a living mosaic thousands of years in the making. But even the thoroughness of the destruction wasn't what stuck in my mind. For once it wasn't human beings' capacity to destroy that took the spotlight in my mind's eye. Rather it was our capacity to survive.

Despite the annihilation of peoples, despite the terror, despite the pain, despite the savagery, despite the injustice, despite the oppression, despite the suppression, and despite of the enslavement of mind and body, somewhere a soul roamed free.

And even though a raging forest fire had been extinguished, the rising smoke filled the woods with a smell of what used to be and so, in some sense, still is.

They might have no been the fittest according to Darwin, but they survived.

Self De-(s)-crypt-ion: Rough Draft

It all started with a simple question:

"Usko Samajh nahin aati tum kya ho. Are you darkness or are you light?".

He was the youngest in the family. He tended to observe and absorb. An asteroid trying to catch up with shooting stars; trying to strike an equilibrium in the orbital system of love. A sponge some might call him, but even a sponge has a saturation point and he'd long since passed it. He'd heard all these words and - true to his nature - had stored them in his treasure chest, thinking he'd understood them, thinking being the operative word. Life was yet to teach him though. She was yet to use her most effective tool, the hands of the clock, to slap some sense into him; hitting him harder each time. It was good for him though. It was only when a saturated sponge cried its burden that it created space to absorb more; to learn. "she is the most supreme of teachers" he thought to himself. And her brilliance lay primarily in her persistence. She doesn't get angry. Time doesn't get impatient. She doesn't stop nor does she get derailed. She maintains calm, continues at her own set pace, and persists. And that is why sooner or later - and sooner for their sake - she reigns in all the rebels and eventually expels all the stubborn ones.

She reminds him of his high school. "Perseverance commands success".

That was his high school motto. For the longest time he thought they were three completely unrelated words. You'd think he were stupid, but given the militaristic nature of Aitchision, it wasn't surprising that he heard the words in his head as if a stern general were shouting them one by one. Perseverance! Commands! Success! That would've certainly have been more in line with the Aitchisonian way. Nonetheless, she'd taught him to understand these words, to appreciate them, and so to appreciate her ways. These words aptly described her defining trait. She'd persisted and forced her students to submit. Truly, Perseverance commands her success and lack thereof our failure.

Back to the start. "You're everything".

Love, like time, teaches too. It makes you understand cliches like you've never understood them before. Cliches weren't too different from other sayings he'd stored word for word in his treasure chest without having fully understood. They were just ones he'd hear more often. And today love gave him an impressive lesson on "you're everything". Today, the young boy had lived these words. And now, he asked himself a simple question:

Was she darkness or was she light? And immediately his heart answered:

-To be continued

Bro-man-ce

Humaare liye tairi surat hi ghaza hay

Tu saath ho tau yea dil la parwa hay

Rare Ripples In Still Water

"I know. That's the way the world goes. nothing remains forever. what we must do is always remember the positives and be happy for all the time we share toge.....ther. In the end, life is a bunch of memories we string together".

06/11/2009

I hope i can get to know you as a friend one day, inshAllah

Bud du'a

"I hope you regret this".

Kehtay hain kay maasoom ki bud du'a say bach kay rehna chaahiyay. I really hope there's not as much truth to it as i believe there to be.

Ameen

Golden Memories From Her Treasure Chest

Texts me while i'm in class

Qeeqa: Are you in class?

Me: yea...?

Qeeqa: Then focus Goddammitt!!!!

Munn-dane.

"Sub kiya tha uss nay tu nay baatein banaieen". (Ali Zafar - i used to call him Ali duffer before listening to Nahi re Nahi)

Question. Question because. Question because God commands you to. Question so that the universe may answer you. Question because the question and the answer are inseparable. Question until your thirst is quenched, but never, never let a question become a barrier between you and your Lord.

"let not Satan bar your way unto me" (Qur'an)

Rand-Om-ar

So here i am. At Zuberman's and he's suddenly decided he's going to blast backstreet boys' songs tonight. "How do i shield myself against the cliches and cheesiness"? i ask myself as i try to write this next post.

I'm groaning now. He's put on "shape of my heart" by BSB.

I'm doing my best to ignore it and focus my energy on finding words to express how sadness isn't as bad as it's made out to be and that its loneliness which is what one should really be fearful of. I said it perfectly to Nabbu just a few days ago, why can't i find the words? And just as i'm getting frustrated, one of the goons in the background sings:

"Sadness is beautiful, loneliness is tragical"

not too eloquent, but it'll do.

I would never have imagined that my thoughts would find expression in a BSB song..

Rand-Om-ar

They apple of their eyes when she was alive, she now rests in peace (inshAllah) as the onion of their eyes.

Zubermann

"Yaar kya band tha yaaaarr!!!!"

Zubermann listening to backstreet's back at full volume

Zubermann

"Kya bandddaaa hay yaaaaarrr!!!!"

Jahaaz!!

-As i get ready to leave the ELI building i'm certain i am forgetting something-

Me: I just always know when i'm forgetting something. Its like a third sense -- Oh wait! that last bit was totally wrong

Boss buddy Anisha correcting me: yea didn't you mean fifth sense??

haha!

Zubermann

Me: yaar please 'dancing with myself' tau laga day

Zuberman: haan woh kiss ka gaana hay, billy talent? (song by Billy idol)

HAHAHAHA! o zuberman!!

(Hey, it was exactly THAT funny!)

For God's Sake

Rahim, Aun, and Sikander enter the restroom next to the Musalla. They aren't regular in namaz, and being residents of Vancouver, they don't have the aazaan as a beautiful reminder. But today, today the call to prayer came from the deepest recesses of their thought and so they now find themselves in the University Musalla. All by themselves. Just the three of them.

They perform Wuzu together, stretching their hearts as they would their limbs before a game of soccer in preparation for exercising remembrance. Or ideally that's the function wuzu serves if the 'spi--rit' isn't taken out of the '--rit-ual'. All they can think about though is everything and anything other than prayer and this is the state in which they enter the Musalla.

Aun, having entered the room first, assumes the position of imam. Sikander, not that far behind, now approaches the front of the room absolutely certain that Aun's forgetfulness will dawn upon him any moment now and that he'll relinquish the responsibility of imammate to him.

Fast-forward a few minutes and Rahim is leaving the room though namaz is yet to be offered. He's leaving because he's just been reminded why he doesn't like praying in jama'at. Aun and Sikander are still arguing about who's more qualified and better suited to lead prayer. They seem to have forgotten, he thinks to himself, that whether at the back of the Musalla or in the front, they're both bowing down to God; equal. In humility before the Supreme Ego. But the little gods they brought with them to the Musalla have caused them to forget.

Rahim wishes they hadn't brought their idols to the room; that they'd been swept away during ablution. Amidst the madness, quietly sits in the women's section a disappointed young girl peeping through the space in between the covers, unnoticed and listening intently. Surprisingly, her disappointment is not owing to the argument that is still raging. She's had box seats for a showing of the brilliantly idiotic before. Rather, it is seemingly sensible Rahim's exit that has her dismayed. She understands why he is moved to leave - that too frowning. She understands why he's turned off, but disappointed that he's turned away. Level-headed Rahim, like she used to, had forgotten why he'd wanted to respond to the call to prayer to begin with: Fi sabeel Allah

Khuda kay liye

Yaar

"Mairay baitay tau tujhay chachoo bolain gay"

'nuff said.

Yaar

"Think of all the kids in Saudi who don't get Al-cohol!"

Zuberman trying to convince Nabila to drink

Yaar

"Log suicide depression ki waja say nahin kartay. Confusion ki waja say kartay hain"

Zuberman

narcissus (The ego doesn't deserve a capital)

I didn't intend it to be so, but maybe its fitting that this be my first post for the year. Here i was, in an SUV, being treated like royalty, when a thought resurfaced: "i should indulge in a bit of narcissism and re-name my blog Badi-uz-Zaman". Its only been less than a year since i've fallen in love with my own middle name; a middle name that i've ignored since i was old enough to know that it is difficult for others to pronounce let alone spell. But its not a name is it? its a title. A grand one at that. One that i don't deserve and its right after this final thought that i picture me smacking myself on the side of my head. Just before impact i ask myself why do parents give their children such heavy names? not that i mind, i love my name. But high expectations much?

*thwapp* (thwappp - really??? must've been a sissy slap)

Despite the sorry excuse for a slap, my reflection has effectively reminded me i've been blessed with magic mirrors. Do not forget. Oh wait. that's useless to say. Remind yourself constantly! THAT'S better.

And so, as always, i have digressed. Maybe my blog name should be Tan (ned)-Gent. Always digressing. You're the only one i know who could digress when talking about digression itself. Babay always said i needed focus. Khair.

The point being, and i swear i have one, (i think), was that truth be told, and it seldom is, especially to one's self, a fitting name for my blog would be Khichri.

Here's to Khichri in 2010.

P.S.

(HOLY CROWWW!!! ITS 2010 ALREADY!!!)